Fear is a funny thing. It has SO much control and power over me right now. Are you feeling scared of something, too? Your logical brain probably tells you it is a waste of energy to be fearful of that thing. But your emotional brain, now she does what she wants. She won’t let logic have a conversation with her.
But what is fear? Why do I allow it to control my actions and thoughts? Fear can’t speak to me. Fear is not a tangible thing. No one else is pushing fear on me. I am putting fear into my own self. The only person responsible for fear is ME.
Here’s a shocking realization: Fear is completely based on hypotheticals.
It is being apprehensive about things that haven’t even happened, and might never happen. Fear is a complete waste of energy and thought. Fear is literally based on things and situations that ARE NOT REAL.
Fear is like a wall. You run into it and all progress you’ve made comes to a halt. That wall stops you from growing. The only way to get to the other side of that wall is to break it down!
It’s time to learn how to break down that fear wall. Because you will not grow and continue your journey beyond that fear wall until you come out the other side of it. And once you do that, you will be unstoppable. Your calling and what you are made for is beyond that fear wall! But the fear blocks your view. You can’t see your potential and your full range of possibility when the wall is in front of you blocking your progress. It’s a pretty big reward with no limit if you are brave and break that wall down.
I have been really afraid of launching this platform for all to see. It’s been a constant worry in the back of my mind. I’m excited to be in this space and have a place where I can connect with like-minded women, but I am also paralyzed with fear.
My fear wall is strong. It is tall. It is dense. I’m constantly concerned about what others might think. About failing. About sharing my personal thoughts and feelings with the world. But I cannot control what other people might think. And the reality is they probably won’t really care. Isn’t it funny what the ego decides is worth worry?
The bottom line is I have carefully built my fear wall. No one else is responsible for that. And I am the only person who can break down and conquer that wall that I have built. Leaning into the fear is the only way to conquer it.
Are you scared of something? Then lean into that. It is truly the only way you can grow! You will not grow WITHOUT leaning into the fear and going through it to get to the other side. You have to break down the fear wall you’ve built in order to move forward and become who you are meant to be.
And some really beautiful things can happen if you push through that fear.
I recently learned a technique to get past fear and anxiety, and I wanted to share it in hopes that it can help you to change your mindset, too. Have you heard of Mel Robbins? She is an AH-mazing speaker and personal development guru. She practices something called the 5 second rule.
The idea is this. You start to feel fear creep in, or anxiety, or lack of motivation, or whatever it is you are struggling with. You identify and recognize it, and then count down 5-4-3-2-1. Once you get to 1, you change your mindset and do the thing you’re dreading. You find the opposite pole of that thought and think that instead.
For example, let’s say you hate networking events because you don’t love approaching new people. So you are attending a networking dinner and see someone you want to greet, but damn. You are terrified! That woman is SO successful. Why would she want to talk to you? You would just be wasting her time. Wrong! So you count down 5-4-3-2-1. Then, you pony up and walk over to that successful woman and strike up a conversation. You just DO it!
You are essentially training yourself to take action instead of standing paralyzed behind your fear wall. You are training your brain to break down the fear barrier.
So here I am. And I need to take my own advice and just do it! Because what have I got to lose by sharing this? Nothing. I can only gain. I can only make amazing connections and help others. I can only go beyond my wall to new and infinite possibilities. If that’s the worst I can do, then it suddenly doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
Finally, I leave you with the wise words of Winn Claybaugh, the dean/cofounder of Paul Mitchell Schools.
“SWSWSW. Some will, some won’t, so what?”-Winn Claybaugh
You don’t HAVE to have the approval and adoration of the whole entire freaking world. That, my friend, is completely unrealistic. Some people aren’t going to love your stuff. And if they don’t, then they will move on. That leaves space for the people who DO connect with you. Those are the only ones you want in your corner, anyway.
If you’re feeling fearful, try the 5 second rule. And remember that you built your fear wall, and you can tear it down. You are in charge, not your fear.
Do you have other tools you use to lean into the fear and break down the wall? Tell me! I would love to hear about it.